幽默英文冷笑话

　　从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面学习啦小编为大家带来幽默英文冷笑话，欢迎大家阅读!

　　幽默英文冷笑话1：

　　Joe and Fred were helping to build a house in a village. The weather was very warm, there was a lot of dust everywhere, and by half past twelve, they were very thirsty, so they stopped work to have their lunch. They found the nearest small bar, went in and sat down with their sandwiches.

　　Good afternoon, gentlemen. What can I get you? The man behind the bar asked.

　　Joe looked at Fred and said, Beer, I think. Yes, a pint of beer each. Is that all right for you, Fred?

　　Yes, that's all right. Fred said. Then he turned to the man behind the bar and said, And I want it in a clean glass! Don't forget that.

　　The man behind the bar filled the glasses and brought them to Joe and Fred. Then he said. Which of you asked for the clean glass?

　　乔和佛瑞德在一个村子里帮忙盖一间房子。天气很暖和，到处都有许多灰尘。12点半的时候，他们觉得非常口渴，便停下来去吃午饭了。他们找到最近的一家酒吧，走进去坐下吃他们的三明治。

　　下午好，先生。你们想要点什么?柜台后面的伺应问道。

　　乔看了看佛瑞德说：我想，啤酒吧。好，那就每人一品脱啤酒。这样可以吗，佛瑞德?

　　好的，可以。佛瑞德说。然后他转过去跟柜台后面的侍应说：我要啤酒装在一个干净的杯子里!别忘了。

　　柜台后面的侍应倒满杯子后，拿给乔和佛瑞德，接着说：刚才哪一位要干净的杯子的?

　　幽默英文冷笑话2：

　　The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of hisdomain were ruled by their wives. He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely(严格地，严厉地).

　　Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel(劝告，建议) to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right.

　　It's good to see, said the king, that we have one real man in the kingdom. Tell thesechickenhearted(胆小的) dunces(傻瓜) why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.

　　Your Majesty, came the reply in a squealing voice, it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.

　　古代有一个国王，他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样，受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前，警告说，哪个男人胆敢不说实话，就会受到严厉的惩罚。

　　然后，他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧，只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。

　　国王说：看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉，真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋，为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。

　　陛下，那人尖声地回答：因为在我出门之前，我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。

　　幽默英文冷笑话3：

　　Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.

　　What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.

　　Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.

　　一个年轻人在被雇用几个星期后，被叫到人事经理的办公室。

　　这是什么意思?经理问，当你申请这份工作时，你告诉我们有五年工作经验，现在我们发现这其实是你的第一份工作。

　　嗯，年轻人回答，你们的广告上说需要找一个有想象力的人嘛。

　　幽默英文冷笑话4：

　　After his beloved horse died, a man wanted to place an ad in the newspaper like this: Horse saddle and bridle for $50.

　　Inadvertently(非故意地) the paper added a comma to the ad, which read instead: Horse, saddle and bridle for $50.

　　Immediately someone responded to the ad, That's an awfully cheap price for a horse, said the caller, What's wrong with your horse?

　　Well, he is dead, replied the man who placed the erroneously(错误地) typed ad.

　　一个人衷爱的马死了，他打算在报上登则广告如下：50元卖马鞍和马缰绳。

　　无意中报纸在广告语中加了个逗号，读起来成这样了，50元卖马，马鞍和马缰绳。

　　马上就有人询问这则广告，这马的价格真是太便宜了，询问者说，马有什么毛病吗?

　　哦，它是死的，安排这条误入的广告的人回答道。

　　以上就是学习啦小编为大家带来的幽默英文冷笑话，希望大家喜欢!

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